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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the phrases gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal traits signaling a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet display.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {